i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
