i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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