He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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