I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
