Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
