the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
