Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
