Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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