The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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