I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
