sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
