Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
