when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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