My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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