I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
