my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize