Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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