What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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