I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
