That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
