We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
