so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
