Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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