OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize