Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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