we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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