Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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