we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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