dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
