i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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