This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
