p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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