so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
