yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
