i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Jerry, you need to find god
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
