have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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