Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
