Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
