It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
