If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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