I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
