woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
