We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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