drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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