Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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