Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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