Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
