Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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