Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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