that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize