What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
