She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't want my vagina anymore.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
