My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
