Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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