Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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