I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
