I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
