I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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