My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
