i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
