I bet he comes in French.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
