All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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